Rational fear?
Why Hate-Night Sharks Haunt Trump
West Side Story, Natalie Wood, Stormy, and Don Jr’s fishing feed obsession
Published in
11 min read
Jun 30, 2024There’s an old man who lives in Florida and hates sharks. He tweets about it, talks about it, and probably dreams about scary finned creatures out to get him.I get it. Our goldfish — Sushi and Sashimi used to have staredowns with me.The man forced to retire often poses what he considers an MIT-worthy hypothetical question: “If I’m on a boat with a big battery that starts a fire, and my choices are to get burned, get electrocuted in the water, or get eaten by a shark, I’m not choosing the shark!”He’s not a retiree quietly feeding ducks in a pond suddenly invaded by illegal sharks. He’s not the aquarium maintenance guy complaining in SeaWorld’s lunchroom. The 78-year-old’s not working the meat counter at the deli or cleaning up at the Bingo hall after Fish and Chips night.No.Donald Trump is running for President of the United States. He frequently publicly ponders becoming a flakey fish food more…This boy don’t need a judge, he needs an analyst’s care!
It’s just his neurosis that oughta be cured
He’s psychologic’ly disturbed! — Officer Krupke, West Side Story.