The phrase “woulda, coulda, shoulda” is sometimes used to dismiss negative outcomes. Things now might be different if such and such had been done in the past. Well, duh. That is true of everything. Nothing new is expressed by simply saying “woulda, coulda, shoulda.”However, when your mind uses that phrase on yourself, it is tied to regret. Healthy guilt or regret can have a positive effect on decisions both now and in the future. “If only” statements, though, also can lock you in the past and keep you from moving forward.Sometimes, when I think of where I am today, I wonder where I might be “if only” I had made different or better choices — or maybe if I had made any choice at all. We have all misspent our youth.As a young man, I was directionless. I feel like I wasted my time in high school because my focus was on the opposite sex, on looking cool, or on surviving peer group pressure. Classes were social events not used for learning. Why did I need to learn this stuff anyway?There was no focus, dream, or real attainable goal. There were plenty of unrealistic dreams and false starts. I was lost and had no one to guide me. There was no “I want to be this when I…